“Oh yeah, I’ll tell you something
I think you’ll understand
When I say that something
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand…”
It is 5:40 a.m. and this is the song that popped into my mind as I am getting dressed and ready to head into NYC on the final day of assisting at Dr. Sue Johnson’s Emotionally Focused Couple’s Therapy Externship (Training). Over the past four days, over 120 clinicians from the U.S. and abroad convened to learn how to more effectively assist couples strengthen their relationships by creating secure emotional bonds. It is not how well we negotiate the details of our lives but rather, how well we can be emotionally attuned to and responsive to our partners.
Perhaps Paul, John, George and Ringo had a little something different in mind as they crooned. All the same, this is the song that I found myself humming in these early morning hours and elicited the image of someone reaching out their hand to the other. That is what secure relationships are all about. It is in the felt sense that in good times and in bad, I can turn towards my partner and reach out and she will reach back.
It is three years ago this week that I completed this very same training which has been personally and professionally transformational and it is three years ago to this very day that my wife and I took each other’s hand and said “I DO”.
I am profoundly grateful.